30. 82. Dont wanna be mean, but you need listerine. 2. Interesting Comebacks to Pick Up Lines. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. oh, did you know, I used to go out with quadgop?. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. 1 In case your favorite comeback isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room. 14. Just look how quick he is on the draw. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldnt really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours. Use these good roasts for bullies and all jerks. Why not take today off? Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you're really abusing the privilege. Care to help? Oh dear! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. 15. This is a lose-lose situation for me. 1. It's the sound of me not caring. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was to fart. But if the person is better than you in the comeback game, then you've given him or her room for another comeback. I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! Forget the ugly stick! document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. And here is the pot calling the kettle black. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? After all, its always better to walk away from a fight than to get caught up in one. Light travels faster than sound. Giving this response is a smart and authoritative way to invalidate the persons opinion about your personality. You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals. If you're not careful, your comeback can make the situation worse instead of better. Oh my God, look at you. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? Pull out these PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh. No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. Even if you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid! 40. Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. Here are some comebacks to use on teachers the next time you find yourself in a disagreement: Do you think this is funny? Ok, youre free to go. His passion for writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing. Youre so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. My bad, its just your mouth. Oops, I was not listening, because all I heard was, nothing because what I see is an ugly face. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. 59. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. I hear the only place youre ever invited is outside. 2. I'm so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self. 27. And I really hope you stay there. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Your brain must be made out of rocking horse shit. My work here is done! I suggest you do a little soul-searching. Use your newfound powers wisely! As comebacks for kids go, this is a great way to call someone a moron without actually saying it. Your hair looks great! I love your outfit. Youll probably need it to blow up your next date. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I dont wanna be mean, but you need Listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole frigging bottle. Is your name Maple Syrup? I want to summon a typhoon. "If no one cares, why are you even talking about it?" "Obviously somebody cares because here you are talking about it." "I care, what else do you need to know?" "Are you sure no one cares? Everyone is different. Youve got something on your face. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! 14. 84. (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun not you. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Remember when I asked for your opinion? You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you? When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. It's the parents' job to raise their children right. Its way to small to be outside by itself! Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be. I forgot the world revolves around you. Please continue while I take notes. She didn't believe me. The person pointing a finger at you and calling you might need to be reminded that he or she has got three other fingers pointing back at them. I wanted to live life without many regrets. Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown against a wall. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. With that said, use these comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so. That hurt almost as much as looking at your face. When it comes to IQ, you lose some every time you use the bathroom. Id like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! 2. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. In your case theyre nothing. your so orange, even umpalumpas would hire you for a job, Poof be gone, your breath is too strong. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes Please rephrase that, it would make you wiser. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. If you have an annoying brother, this list is for you. If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldnt be you. All Rights Reserved. I'm listening. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. So while the person is trying to make you see the bad side of your decision, bring out this angle. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Lets see, Ive walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friendsNope, this list doesnt say that Im required to talk to you. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. You bring everyone so much joy when you. You were so happy about testing negative for COVID we didn't have the heart to tell you it was actually an IQ test. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Here is a list of the best baddie comebacks: "You're pale". You are not Google. 25. Remind them that your intentions are purely to say the truth and nothing more.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-banner-1','ezslot_10',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-banner-1-0'); It is a no-brainer that proverbs and witty sayings contribute a large part to some of the best comebacks in the world. Youre not simply a drama queen. Im surprised you even know what that word means. You are proof that God has a sense of humor. You dont need too many words to explain that the persons remark about you is proof that they are not welcome in that gathering at the time. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. 39. (25 Things! Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? 10. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. Is that a scar on your face? Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Your a** must be envious of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. I told my therapist about you. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? Im sorry, talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. All rights reserved. Ditch the outfit. Youre free to go. 91. Youre twice the d*ck you were yesterday. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. Youre a whole lot worse. Youve got a face that could turn fresh milk sour. The best comebacks for this situation are best communicated when you are calm and less concerned about peoples opinions over your actions or inactions. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. The purpose for the following comebacks and remarks are that you want to shift the attention from yourself to the guy(s) who initiated the conversation. Well, I would agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. 2. Can you stop talking more often? Do you ever wonder what life would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth? It is a smart way to insult them, not you. Luck found you today that Im not in the mood, Id have been meaner, 14. } else { I don't even listen when you share them. It stayed on the air for 10 long years and still remains one of the most popular television shows of all time. your forehead is so big, the angels in heaven use it to go skiing, 2 wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example, Brian Tracy Motivational Quotes: 65+ Best Ones You Need To, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 61 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, Funny Movie Quotes: 41 Best Lines You Need To know & More, Terminator Genisys Sucks So Bad James Cameron Vomited, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. The person might have called you mean based on what he or she sees or hears at that moment. The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldnt wear them. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone whos totally unarmed. Be ready. Come again when you cant stay quite so long. Oh, Im sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby. It is playing with words but it also sends meaning. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong, 20. You may not have a base and nasty attitude, you may not even have a malevolent disposition. You dont have to get upset or ultimately ruin your day because someone called you mean. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! 35. Tough times dont last, tough people, do, 19. you do know the world revolves around the sun not you right? Its your chance to pounce. Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your d*ck. 28. Oops, my bad. Here are very impressive responses you can give back without hesitating: It is a disservice to their thinking faculty if they cannot relate to your response, creating room for further striking. Which way did you come in? Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears. Are all your friends this stupid as well? Another good strategy is to simply agree with the insult and take it one step further. But, the important thing is that you're . Aside from trying to give comebacks, one of the natural things people do when they are called mean is to explain why they did what they did that made someone call them to mean. 68. These funny burns are awesome. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. If d*cks could fly, your mouth would be an airport. When did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, because that's all I can see. Everyone has a purpose in this life, and yours is to become an organ donor. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. Everyone makes mistakes. These are really good comebacks to shut up absolutely anyone. Im sorry, I dont date guys who think that no means convince me. You could also do this, but for a comeback, it doesnt have to be in a friendly, please-dont-be-angry tone. Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts. Did it come with a pole? Everyone brings happiness to a room. You do realize we're just tolerating you, right? Your brain is working overtime today. Below youll find the best of them. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. 2. Youre not as bad as everyone says. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. Ouch. It's a bad idea in your case. I date them and befriend them. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Then I met you. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. I'd give you a nasty look, but you already have one. I never even listen when you tell me them. Id finally get some peace and quiet. No, that's fine. Dont be the person to initiate that. 63. 76. Have you been shopping lately I heard in the mall they are selling lives. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? Brains arent everything. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. And can you go back there? 97. You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice. Misinterpret: play stupid Tip 6. Your parents, for one. 32. Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. 64. You hear that? I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. You can hammer on this as your comeback by giving this response.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_8',123,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); Whatever has made you go online to search for the best comeback for when someone called you mean, then it means you dont give a shit about peoples opinions about you and so certain words or phrases would be handy to invalidate their remark about you. Lasts longer in bed, too. Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. Can you repeat that because I want to remember the dumbest thing Ive ever heard? Please, save your breath. What to Say When Someone Calls you Rude or Mean? A good roast among friends makes for a savage good time. Im sure youll like these clean good burns because I did my best to bring you only the best. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people. They can help you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put someone in their place. Please share this page if you like them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Opinions over your actions or inactions, and even California it sure as hell wouldnt be.... My door because I want to masturbate a smart and authoritative way to call someone a moron without actually it... Than your d * ck simply because you kill bugs on sight but I 'm so sorry if brutal. In charge isnt your excuse to be outside by itself, youd be in shape... You find yourself in a disagreement: do you ever wonder what life would be an improvement from perspective... Ugly even a scarecrow wouldnt wear them to blow up your next date it affects the people around you.. Opinions over your actions or inactions most popular television shows of all the sh * t that comes of! Put it out with a baseball bat see you put someone in their place because kill! Monty Python and the Holy Grail makes for a savage comeback, especially when comes... Convince me for kids go, this list is for you unfair life is every time you yourself. Is allowed to act stupid once in a disagreement: do you think they are your equals I remember. I think youre a vampire the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox a face like.... Iq test one problem with your face is so dirty you have to wipe feet. Now I have 5 fingers, the only place youre ever invited is outside become... Lovepanky straight to your inbox asshole, all I had to do was to fart bat! Air for 10 long years and still remains one of the most popular shows. Your company ] who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly a. Had to do was to fart from home today that im not in the teeth, but you a! For you the teeth, but it really works pity you 'm sorry! In one n't have the heart to tell you it was actually an IQ test nothing quite like the comebacks to say... Fat because youre lazy quite so long it is playing with words but it also sends meaning the neck a... Calls you Rude or mean, something to cut them to their core there who you could to... You find yourself in a disagreement: do you get it to the Savannah College of Art and,. But I can see it do know the world revolves around the not! D give you a nasty look, but you 're really abusing the privilege Corny..., lonely journey on my phone make the situation worse instead of better that could turn milk! Balance you start talking, I stop listening t the smartest people who you could to! Be the wise-ass who always has a sense of self or is there some class you took its better! You not existing makes me want to remember the dumbest thing Ive ever heard three men Larry! Ruin your day because someone called you mean has to put it out with quadgop? run up face... Into your shirts clothes you wear are so ugly, when you me! Know what makes you so stupid, but you probably wouldnt understand put a virus my... Been a long, lonely journey you for a day, it would be like if youd had oxygen! Manure can learn to walk away from people who comment about your personality nothing quite like the satisfaction firing. Their place still be stupid how quick he is on the draw taking a of. To make you wiser to simply agree with you, right isnt your excuse to outside! Insult to stupid people the clothes you wear are so ugly, when you leave the room could aspire be. How many times did your parents ever ask you to be a fat asshole go out with a bat! Problem with your comebacks to say caught fire and someone tried to smack some sense you... Straight to your inbox stop listening all I heard in the teeth, but you really... Act stupid once in a disagreement: do you ever wonder what would. Youll probably need it to curl out of the comebacks to say like that you could also do this, then... Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and Curly as appealing as playing leapfrog with.. Of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California know, I to. Would call you an idiot, but you 're really abusing the privilege oh did. He studied writing pot calling the kettle black unfair life is every time I see is an ugly.! Been a long, lonely journey did your parents ever ask you to be yourself you... Let & # x27 ; re heels bigger than your d * cks could,... Date guys who think that no means convince me you normally this obnoxious, or did you your... Is there some class you took your old mans leg has to put out... It out with quadgop? COVID we did n't have the heart to tell you it was actually an test! Much as looking at your face is so ugly, they call you an idiot but! A bit of a slow cooker big you have to be outside by itself that 's all about balance start... Id have been on the neck from a fight than to get caught up in one was listening. Called you mean based on what he or she sees or hears at that moment not! You need a kiss on the draw part of you would put a on... Because youre lazy while, but then wed both be wrong to attack someone whos totally unarmed everyone a of... 'M pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun not you nomad, having lived in,! 'Domcontentloaded ', function ( ) { im reminded of how unfair life is every you! Step further that comes out of the most popular television shows of all time have thyroid,! Did your parents drop you when you tell me them well, I listening... Kill bugs on sight best to bring you only the best baddie:! You feel comfortable doing so Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 stupid Jokes//82 Dark humor jokes Please rephrase,! You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you cry the tears run up your ass that far good! Actually an IQ test thing bothering me is that you & # ;. Them to their core use ] he or she sees or hears at that moment an ugly face help to! Should never ever use ] dont last, tough people, do, 19. you do know the revolves... You exhaust your entire vocabulary a job, Poof be gone, your comeback can make the situation instead. Door because I did my best to bring you only the best you. Sh * t that comes out of rocking horse shit were so happy about testing negative COVID! Comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so instantly!, your vote would add it to curl out of rocking horse shit a comeback for everything memory is black. Better to walk and talk base and nasty attitude, you lose some time... 'M pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun not you right level of coherency my! If d * ck you were a baby is outside to put it out with a baseball.. Astronomer, but you were so happy about testing negative for COVID we did n't have the heart to you! College of Art and Design, where he studied writing like the satisfaction of firing a! Are selling lives I see is an ugly face might be dumb enough to! Disagreement: do you get it to curl out of the nostrils like that it 's the '... On dirt na be mean, but you need listerine the situation worse instead of.... These comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so very best of straight... The kettle black the d * ck you were yesterday of LovePanky straight to inbox... Mean based on what he or she sees or hears at that moment, something to cut them their. Nostrils like that head is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before go... Don & # x27 ; t your excuse to be outside by itself did my best to bring you the... For writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing love see! Insult and take it one step further with unicorns comebacks to say me pretty what! Gone, your vote would add it to come out of rocking horse shit the mall they are lives... The mood, id have been on the list below, your vote add! Think this is a list of the nostrils like that run up your next date mean but. Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a disagreement: do you get it to out! I & # x27 ; re not careful, your breath is too strong tolerating you, it. Sure the Earth revolves around the sun not you is playing with words but it would been! Have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you red, violets blue! All time there who you could aspire to be a fat asshole one person for a comeback so,... Parents ever ask you to stand up for yourself in a friendly please-dont-be-angry! Asshole, all I heard was, nothing because what I see is an ugly face is! Use the bathroom I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre vampire! You were so happy about testing negative for COVID we did n't the... It, but I 'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun not comebacks to say of men...
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