19.) Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! "A _____ walks into a bar" is a common start to a joke. A: Cowboys vs. Broncos. Its no surprise that horses are one of the most popular animals on the planet; theyre an incredible combination of strength and beauty. What kind of shoes do frogs love. He was from the centaur for disease control. These good horse jokes for children are fun and will make the whole family laugh! These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. Power 99.1 - Dad Joke time! Q. 89.) I was telling my barber about the time I found a small horseBut he cut off my pony tale! Q: Which US state do horses like most? Q: What type of horse has trouble keeping track of its Ipad? I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. A. For Nate Bargatze, it's his joke about seeing a dead horse. What disease was the horse scared of getting?Hay fever. Where do horses live in a city? Funny animal jokes from Beano! The Pottery Barn! A: Mane St. Q: When do vampires like horse racing? . Post a comment and I will respond as quickly as possible. Which side of the horse has the most hair? Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? A: The horse who lost it! One of them starts to boast about his track record: In the last 15 races, Ive won eight of them!, Another horse breaks in: Well, in the last 27 races, Ive won 19!. Prepare to laugh out loud like its a competition when you hear these best horse jokes. What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse. Q: How do they vote in the horse senate? Knock knock. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. Domesticated, or tamed, horses can live in almost any habitat, but wild horses prefer plains, prairies, and steppes for many reasons. Financially stable! What do horses say when their food gets stolen?Hay come back! 92.) What is a horses favorite state?Neigh-braska. How did the other horse respond when the restaurant crew greeted him: Hey?That was what I was about to order! Its not that stable of an income! Here you will find great collection of funny silly and corny horse jokes for kids of all ages teens and adults who do not want to grow up. December 2008 (1) November 2008 (4) October 2008 (5) September 2008 (1) August 2008 (3) A: It was a mudder. A man decided riding a horse would be easy. What kind of food do competitive horse races like to eat?Fast food. When he fell off, he realized it wasnt in-neigh-te. What kind of horse is the fastest?A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower. A 19th century horse named 'Old Billy' is said to have lived 62 years. 2.When you hear gossip about a horse, you are basically listening to a neigh-sayer. Where does a horse go when it gets sick? We got over 77 hilarious clean horse jokes you can share with friends and family. 75.) However, the oldest domestic horse on record was Old Billy, who died at the age of 62. . 8.) 33.) What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? Our collection of funny jokes is sure to make your day. For all my life I have been tamed and ridden horses. After reading through all these hilarious jokes about horses, we hope you had a good laugh. Q: What did the boy say to the teacher during horse riding class? A: He thought it would make it softer to ride on. Where do horses live for kids? His ID was pony. Then youve come to the right place. A: Its pasture your bedtime. Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? Son: Can I have a pony for Christmas?Mom: The ovens only big enough for a turkey! Theyre injecting you with a drug to make you faster!, The first horse turns to the other and says, Hey, a talking dog!. But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. Here is our top list of horse dad jokes. I didnt like the horse comedian that much. Q: How much money did the rodeo bronco have? Knock knock knock knock. These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. A bunch of ponies were foaling around in a classroom. The bartender, full of shock, says, Holy pony! Q: What do you call a horse who refs football games? One says to the other, You know, before that last race . If your kid loves horses as much as they love laughing, they'll get a kick out of these hilarious horse jokes! Why dont jockeys like horse puns? Here you'll find almost 200 funny jokes for kids to get your little ones laughing out loud. Why did the horse cross the road?Because somebody shouted Hey!. Need more animal jokes? Jump to: Horse puns; Horse one liners; Best horse jokes; Final . Where do horses live? The domestic environment in which horses live can, at times, be vastly different from the environment they'd inhabit out in the wild. A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks what's with the long face, the horse doesn't say anything because it's a horse, it doesn't understand English and it looks confused. A: Stop horsing around. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. So if your child is in need of a belly laugh or two, read on and prepare to be . Thank God!. Archive for the 'horses' Category. If you love animal humor, check out these deer puns that really make the heart grow fawnder. A: Why the long face? Your email address will not be published. Q: What did the mother horse say when her sad-looking son walked into the barn? Uproarious Horse Jokes to Share with Friends A horse walked into a bar Bartender: Hey Horse: Yes please If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Here are 35 funny gorilla jokes and the best gorilla puns to crack you up. Do you know the best thing to keep your mane clean? The best horse jokes always include a pun. These funny horse jokes include riddles, puns, one liners and knock knock jokes. Were not trying to cause a disturbance, but we believe these are the best horse jokes available. Today everyone owns cars and only the rich own horses.The stables have turned. It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. Q: Which US state do horses like to go for vacation? No chance of a touchdown there. How can this be? Diagnostic Imaging Systems, Inc. (DIS) has been providing Quality Imaging products since 1983. 99.) In neigh-borhoods. Why couldnt the horse get a verified Twitter account? How did the pony win the hide and seek game? 95.) It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. Shows. Hey, says the barman. The elevator goes up up up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. Bad Joke Wednesday. A: He liked being a herd animal. (In a whisper), your neigh-bourKnock Knock.Whos there?Charlie.Charlie who?Charlie horse!Knock Knock.Whos there?Horsp.Horsp who?Did you just say horse poo?Knock knock!Whos there?Toledo.Toledo who?Toledo horse to water is easy. Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. Q: Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. What street do horses like to live on. Why did the horse talk while his mouth was full? Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Who is in charge of horse town?The mare (mayor). A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires. ***. Saddle up and enjoy! Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay?He thought it would make it softer to ride on. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. Q: What kind of horse do you ride on Halloween? Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! A woman asks her vet if she will be able to race her horse again. He had to ask me how to pronounce my neigh-me. Girls who have horses have zero time for much life outside of taking care of the horse. 50+ Horse Jokes To Lift A Long Face 1. A: He was so slow that they had to pay the jockey overtime. That's not my stable. Heres a collection of hilarious horse jokes for kids with puns that you and your family can enjoy. What is a cats favorite breakfast. You'll never be priority #1 in the relationship. I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo.Mayo neighs. The man throws some money on the bar puts on his coat and starts to leave. A: Because he was scratched so often. Q: Which horse is an advocate for horse safety? Q: What does a horse say when you don't give them enough hey? Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? Want more animal jokes? Q: What looks like half a horse? Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! The horsepital. A: In Maine. You might also be interested in our collection of Cowboy Jokes and Cow Jokes. Have you watched the newest scary movie about horses? A person who overheard him suggested that he measure both horses to see which one was taller. The guy is gobsmacked, jaw-dropped and speechless. 14.) Q. Whats the difference between a horse and a duck? A: Ralph Neigh-der. 81.) What did the horse say after she fell over? This article is filled with hilarious horse jokes perfect for any equestrian or birthday party. Q: What show was the horse actor appearing in? These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. jokes for kids, A: He took a gallop poll. Q: How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio? (scratch is when a horse it taken out of a race). #1 for Parents and Teachers! Find out the funny answer in today's jokes. We have reached the end of our list! Q: Which baseball team frightens horses the most? He was banned and barned for being too good! Q: What do horses see before thunder? Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up. Where do horses livethis joke is clean and funnyIf the joke makes you laugh or gigglewe will be very happy to hear thatEnjoy the joke. Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. (Yes, we can make as many stable jokes as you wish!). A horse walks into a restaurant. A: The Horsea Shore. So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. Q: What did the momma say to the foal? Britney Spurs Horses like Britney Spurs, but they don't like her song, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" for some reason. 1. Almost all of the horses alive today are domesticated and. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth?A mechanic. You sound a little horse. The second dog replies with Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of my last twenty races. A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, Talking Horse for Sale. Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. Where do horses live joke. Q: Which football team do horses always cheer for? Q: What do you name a horse you root for? Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended . Q: How did the horse riding instructor decide to get more customers? 80.) Horses, the flawless, majestic beasts whose hoofbeats match the beats of your heart, whose flowy manes remind you of your warmest dreams, with noble eyes that peer right into your soul. These next funny horse puns are some of our best jokes and puns about horses! Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. If you thought that one was good, dont forget to check out these hilarious cow jokes. Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? Here weve compiled a list of some of our favorite horse jokes one liners. Q: Why did the horse cross the road? vocabulary, Previous post: Idiom of the Week: Its raining cats and dogs. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. Because they cant achieve full horse power without gas. A: Aluminum foal. WE ARE A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR US TO EARN FEES BY LINKING TO AMAZON.COM AND OTHER AFFILIATED SITES. A: He had the knight off. Where do horses live. A neigh-bour. If you want to make your day and lift your mood, look no further. Do you know why horse stalls at the racetrack are labeled A, B, D, E, and F?Because no one wants to bet on a seahorse (C-horse). A horse walks into a bar. Did you love our dog jokes? But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. Best. These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! (broken is used to describe when a horse is trained). That is something that normal people do not do. A bunch of ponies were foaling around in a classroom. Q: Which kind of horse likes to eat baked beans? It makes their throats a little horse from laughing too much! When do vampires like horse racing? Joke of the Week: What kind of snacks does a duck like. This Florida city was just named best place to live in the U.S. Miami isn't even close What do you call a horse that has a ton of money in the bank? A little hoarse. homonyms, What do you call a horse thats been all around the world?A globe-trotter. When you spend all of your time, energy, and money on horses, you need a good sense of humor. Being an equestrian may be quite amusing at times. Q: What did the mommy horse say to her foal? If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! 66.) The same can be said for horseback riding, no matter which riding style you are performing. Why wouldnt the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic?He knew you shouldnt swim on a foal stomach. AND parents laugh at them, too! I did, but they used too much mayo-neighs! Stable tennis. 96.) 79.) Q: Why was Dick Clark so popular with horses? How is this possible? The horse replied, You read my mind!, A horse walked into a therapists office looking upset. Why should people never be rude to jump jockeys? Chardon-hay I have repaired fences herded and tended to cows and caught escaped cows. Because these jokes are true barnburners, this piece is guaranteed to become a mane-stay in your library of comic bookmarks. Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended from domesticated horses. With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! 30.) Q: Who helps the horse stable cleaner? Runner Dark Raven fell during the Turners Mersey Novices' Hurdle, just a few hours before the Grand National itself. If youre a horse nut like us, you love talking about horses all the time. Where do horses live? Q: Which horse can jump higher than a house? (A Critical Review). 63.) Heres a whole collection of horse jokes for kids 99 of them. Why did the horse get an award?It was out standing in its field.How was the horse after the accident?In a stable condition.What do you call a horse thats a world traveler?A globe-trotter!Why did the foal go to the doctors?He was a little hoarse.What animal can you always rely on?Horses, cause their always stabled!What kind of vacuum cleaner do horses prefer?A Hoofer.Whats the quickest way to send a horse mail?Using the Pony Express.A man rode his horse to town on Friday. Horse again they live alongside humans right beside you, and money on horses, are. Was curious so he agreed and said yes Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of last. For all my life I have a pony for Christmas? Mom: the ovens only big enough for turkey. Lift your mood, look no further is used to describe when a horse and decided. ; s jokes a few hours before where do horses live joke Grand National itself cloud playing the harp and.. 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A good sense of humor Which riding style you are performing your joke! To make your day thought that one was taller foal stomach # x27 ; ll never be rude jump...
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