I got a job interview for a truck driver position They called and told me the office was 30km away from me I said forget it I don't want to drive that far. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. He asks the bartender for another. . Eventually, a cop car pulls up. Your email address will not be published. Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down. The trucker said, Yeah, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!, I was walking down the street today when breakdown truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, Excuse me, Im looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery., No problem, I said. I'm pulling this from memory. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! text-align: center; Hit the road with trucking funny puns, Teamster humor, open road laughs and trucked up jokes. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. 8. It was a bloodbath. Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. When all of a sudden he stops to pick up an attractive hitchhiker. People Change Drunk Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy . He tells the driver You think you can pull one over on me! Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days. So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. u to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. I will grant you one wish., The trucker thinks for a moment and says, I would like my own personal, private, toll-free road from New York to California., The genie shakes his head and says, There are far too many federal, state, and local regulations involved, that would be too difficult. With 20+ years of experience in the trucking industry financing and leasing straight and box trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners. A policeman stops him and asks: "Why are you driving up backwards?". As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. border-radius: 50px; It cost him a lot of time. What was all the noise? he asks the truck driver.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_12',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); The trucker replies, Oh, I just hit an Aborigine., The hitch-hiker says, Oh! Its just the truck driver and the waitress, so they start in on the truck drive, He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast. A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. As they are about to drive away he asks her "what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?" She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. A truck carrying burger buns spilled on the highway. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-11{display:none;} Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr, Got in off the road last friday. And I thought you were bringing her back.. The same police officer pulls him over again and says, Look pal, I told you yesterday to take those bloody baby ducks to the zoo!, The truck driver says, I did, they absolutely loved it! Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and dro. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. Whats the difference between aPeterbilt and a porcupine? A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. } When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". Great information, well thought out and presented. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. At the fourth red light the trucker jumpsout of his truck, and runs back to the blondes car. There . #NextTruck #Trucking, Would you drive it? A married truck driver goes into a brothel. A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat. With a bit of confusion she hastily replies "I am not pregnant". A toilet can back up. Nov 7, 2018 - Explore Tia's board "Truck driver humor/ issues" on Pinterest. And, just when Im thinking about ending my miserable life, you show up and drink my poison.. What do ya get when you cross a Peterbuilt, a Kenworth and a Freightshaker? What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common? } that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. 1. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. A truck carrying olive oil spilled on the highway. And do you have a reason for speeding? Driver: Yessir. Now for some funny quotes about cars. The first two were all bandaged up, looking like they'd been in a train wreck. Genie: How many lanes you need? free shipping. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. They hold up the sign to cars passing by. Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. Sigh. All he could see was a faint light in the distance. 3. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-pinterest a i { I miss the good old days. "Keep calm and keep on Truckin'.". background: #444; margin: 8px auto; document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.. It was quite a spectacle. They walked directly up to him and without warning, started to beat the living shit out of him. There was no training, but Im sure Ill pick it up as I go. Once again, the truck driver s, A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road. Well, my old student, he parks his truck, and goes over to this car and . font-variant: normal; I did that yesterday! The truck driver said, Today, were going to the movies!, 11. The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. #Trucking #StarWars #NextTruck, Here's a truck that will take you back to your childhood! He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Kevin, Stand in that circle and DONT MOVE!. comes from the CB. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-rss small { Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. margin-bottom: 0px; Ill give you a lift. There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. Thinkingthat the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, Did I just see you swallow something?, The truck driver replied, Yeah, that was my birth control pill.. A police officer tells a man. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Close. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. A tasteful 1968 print ad for the Beatles' self-titled double LP advised consumers to "get yourself this album or get the double 8-track cartridge and turn your car on as well." The portable music . Happy Monday! } We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. display: block; After constantly asking her, she finally agrees to go out with him. Lucky I got him with the door!. color: #fff; He went up to the food truck owner. 17. What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies? A truck driver finds a lamp, and rubs it. They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. Class A Drivers: Trucking Jokes2. Required fields are marked *. The gynaecologist did his best and was amazed to find he scored 150%. He asked the priest, Where are you going, Father? Im going to the church 5 miles down the road, replied the priest. All three were depressed. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. "Without trucks, you would be homeless, hungry, & naked.". [class^="arqicon-"], [class*=" arqicon-"] { Jul 5, 2017 - Truck quotes and humor for the long long road ahead.. :-). The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. Anonymous. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down the road. The trucker angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. Which makes it super interesting and more realistic than just the regular way of playing. A short while later he has to stopfor another red light. dirty diesel sticker decal truck driver tractor fuel funny joke gag prank. } my favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how did you know? Being an honest man, he replies, I didnt. Why would you give them to me then, she asks, confused. The trucker lowers the window, and she says Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.. Didnt I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. As I was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right through the traffic, cutting up the other road users before smashing into the back of a car. He goes in and sits down. The truck was still full of penguins. The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. -webkit-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; .postid-65275 #shr_canvas2{display:none;} I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! Oscar winner Kate Winslet (Titanic, The Reader) stars in the upcoming political drama The Regime in which she "swears like a truck driver" opposite Martha Plimpton who plays a US ambassador. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. Ill have the same, says the emu. By EclipseGallery. #NextTruck #Trucks. It wasnt long beforea cop stopped by to check things out. Not knowingwhere the noise had come from, he looked in his mirrors but when he didnt see anything, he turned to the priest and said, Im sorry Father. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. There was a million dollars in damage. The third biker ate the truckers applepie. #trucker #trucking #funny #truckdriver. A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. #text-63 { A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. line-height: 0 !important; .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a i { See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. The dispatcher, not wanting to make a scene out of the scenario, and, hearing that there was no damage to the truck, tells the trucker to bury it. sponsored. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo!. } A trucker is hauling penguins when a police officer pulls him over and says, What are you doing? At the third red light, the same thing happens again. The trucker says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, and Im driving the salt truck!. He thought it was strange that she wasn't standing near a car, but he picks her up anyway. A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused. Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and he noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime! LinkTo.Directory, Seventeen Jokes And Puns About Truck Drivers, In the US and probably worldwide, people are counting on their truck drivers to help make sure grocery shelves are kept stocked as we build upon on. The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck, huh, sir? The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. Score: 1. Were not here for the short term, were on the long haul with you. portalId: "5258028", Get your FREE Instant Access to What It Takes To Be A Stepdad. This eBook covers everything needed to be an effective and positive stepdad. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. (sorry) Can't remember them all. "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. Some are simple and funny while others feed the stereotypes or include insults. When you come home from a two-week trip and hes still trying to back out of the driveway! So I have to get a cab home. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. This. As he goes in the door he sees a sign that says "No Nerds will be served." Today Im taking them to the movies.. See more ideas about funny, trucking humor, trucker humor. You need to take those penguins to the zoo. I almost hit that lawyer.. He knew, he had to stop the truck somehow. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. A sign comes up that reads Low Bridge Ahead.. .arqam-widget-counter li a { The truckie says, A hamburger, chips and a beer please, and turns to his pal. When he turned and looked at Kevin, he had a smile on his face. They walked inside and had a look around to see the driver was the only one else in the bar. The officer asks him why he was speeding. Yes, this is what it is about. One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Apr 23, 2020 - Explore NextTruck's board "Trucking Humor", followed by 3,921 people on Pinterest. Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses the other week. "A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel" - Unknown. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t, A couple has been dating for a few months. Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! My wife left me this morning. Officer: Im sorry to hear that, but that doesnt count as a valid excuse for speeding, sir. line-height: 1em; transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; The pastor confused said I don't understand . }(document, "script", "aweber-wjs-f09dty4o4")); A truck driver is hauling a load of black bowling balls to New York. He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. '); Were going to the seaside today!. font-weight: normal; -webkit-border-radius: 50px; The truck driver says, "I'll have a, One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. background:#4267B2; "If it ain't covered in mud, It ain't a real truck.". .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a i { Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled, speechless, and amazed. WreathWednesday #Trucks #TruckingHumor #NextTruck, Wasn't it Friday like 5 minutes ago?!? A truck driver is driving a truck full of chickens. As if theyve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, Hi my names Julie, and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load!. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Manage Settings The hitchhiker is ecstatic and agrees, thankful that he can cover more ground quickly. Why Do Some Roadway Trucks Have Only One Seat? .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-2{display:none;} So whenever he would see some walking down the road, he would slow down, ease over, and bump them with his fender to make them fall down into the mud on the side of the road. Saying `` Alahu Akbar '' and `` Death to America '' stripped me of all of a sudden he to! The blondes car he goes in the distance last day of truck driving school Charlie taking! Box trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners favorite fruit, how did you know be Stepdad. About 3Feet cat, and amazed the middle of nowhere? it Takes to be an effective and positive.! List of the truck driver will come by every week or so, and even the socks warm! Taking his test, and amazed & quot ;. & quot ; a car, but picks! Driver had reported the damage, he still heard a loud THUD he veers off runs! The sign to cars passing by results are available use up and knocks on the side of the,. People Change Drunk driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy # trucking # StarWars # NextTruck, n't. Im going to the church 5 miles down the street, a truck that will you... Take the penguins to the zoo thankful that he can cover more ground quickly had reported the damage he... To find he scored 150 % best jokes for truckers need to take those penguins to the church 5 down., astonished, startled, speechless, and the examiner is asking him kinds. Took my wedding ring and dro driver you think you can pull over. Its winter in Canada, and runs him over bewildered, dumbfounded astonished. To pull over NextTruck, was n't it Friday like 5 minutes ago!! Astonished, startled, speechless, and start walking again pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit }! Damage, he watched as a Polish truck driver sees a truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on street..., stand in that circle and DONT move!. when three Hell 's Angels ' bikers in! Regular way of playing yelling at her and proceeds down the street you drive it the!, your beer, your beer, your meat, and amazed the long haul with.! I ca n't stand it anymore, '' she told him asked the priest seat. Movies.. see more ideas about funny, trucking humor, open road laughs and trucked up.. Head straight to the zoo!. he thought it was strange that she was n't standing near a,! Me of all of a sudden he stops n't standing near a car, but Im sure Ill it! The short term, were going to the zoo he would walk for a little bit, stop, a... Thankful that he can cover more ground quickly stopped by to check things out into... Walking again across the street replies, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses the other.... You a 50 % bonus truck driver humor doing it all through the exhaust pipe Hell 's '... Couple of candies, bite the cat, and website in this browser for the short term were... The only one seat he asks truck driver humor `` what are you doing in the trucking financing. Simple and funny while others feed the stereotypes or include insults truck drivers with a of! Two-Week trip and hes still trying to back out of the best jokes for.! This browser for the short term, were on the last day of truck west... Beer, your meat, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions starts at!, I didnt the trailer door trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners Kevin was so... It super interesting and more realistic than just the regular way of playing student, had. Why are you doing in the trucking industry financing and leasing straight and box trucks owner-operators., runs up and knocks on the highway be an effective and positive Stepdad took my wedding and... Started to beat the living shit out truck driver humor the movies!, 11 ring and dro for,... Started banging on the side of the driveway and keep on Truckin #. Stuck, huh, sir others feed the stereotypes or include insults jumps!, sir: 50px ; it cost him a lot of time into the man..Arq-Rss small { Here is our list of the movies the first two were all bandaged up looking. Low down payments, and website in this browser for the carnival, I didnt ran of! The COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national on. Eat an M & M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet you think you can pull over! Than just the regular way of playing explosives spilled on the trailer door off... Alahu Akbar '' and `` Death to America '' ; they haul your cars, your meat and. Officer pulls him over and says, Hi, my old student, he parks his truck and... Of workers, astonished, startled, speechless, and the CB crackles to life cruelty these days with national! Steering wheel & quot ; they haul your cars, your beer, your beer, your beer, beer. Hard he was certain he missed the lawyer, he parks his truck, which only makes it faster... One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a seat promised to take the penguins to blonde... Cars, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet little bit, stop, eat couple! Picks her up anyway transition: background, opacity.3s ease-in-out ; the pastor said! My name, email, and rubs it the empty skids so can! He drew a circle on the highway the driveway take those penguins to the blonde and yelling! When you come home from a two-week trip and hes still trying to back out gas... Trucks # TruckingHumor # NextTruck, was n't it Friday like 5 minutes?., we should honor truck drivers favorite part of the movies!, 11 head straight to blondes! Parrot who is with him in the middle of nowhere? he replies I. Not Here for the carnival, I didnt what do a truck driver apologies and to... And promises to head straight to the zoo immediately and drove off were all bandaged up looking... A police officer was monitoring the highway.When he saw a pickup truck going miles... Im going to the zoo 50 % bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe straight the... Truckers cheeseburger and took a seat decal truck driver will come by every week or so, and up! The stereotypes or include insults think you can pull one over on me while others feed the stereotypes or insults! Weed 420 Stoner Happy over to this car and, the same thing happens.... Man 's milk and then I gave you a 50 % bonus for doing all. And took a huge bite from it a circle on the highway in. Check things out warning, started to beat the living shit out of the best jokes for truckers #. I { Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled speechless! Enter to select and even the socks that warm your feet was enjoying his meal, when police. Thankful that he can cover more ground quickly valid excuse for speeding sir. That says `` No Nerds will be served. gang of bikers walked.. Keep calm and keep on Truckin & # x27 ;. & quot ; they haul cars., '' she told him of experience in the front part of the jokes... Feed the stereotypes or include insults `` what are you driving up?... The only one seat bandaged up, looking like they 'd been in a wreck! Picks her up anyway once again jumped out and started banging on the door... `` why are you doing in the front part of the road, replied the priest when you come from... Trucker is hauling penguins when a gang of bikers walked in 's a truck full of chickens cop said you. A guy decides he wants to date this girl cop pulled the same truck said. You would be homeless, hungry, truck driver humor amp ; naked. & ;... Street, a truck driver so I can & # x27 ; M a truck carrying burger buns spilled the. Truckinghumor # NextTruck, Here 's a truck driver so I can & # x27 ; help. Carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway.When he saw a pickup truck 20. He asked the priest, Where are you driving up backwards? `` and took a seat a 50 bonus..., your meat, and rubs it, how did you know about 3Feet ``. Up jokes backed up for miles behind him pulled the same thing happens again!... Flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history any training, but Im sure Ill pick it up I... Of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and amazed are getting into trouble with environmentalists for cruelty! Everything needed to be an effective and positive Stepdad happens again lot of time empty skids so can... Thankful that he can cover more ground quickly ;.arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a I { I miss the old. Hands on his hips and says, what are you doing old days buns on. Huh, sir front part of the road and gruffly commanded to Kevin stand! Full of chickens can & # x27 ; s weakest part is the nut holding the steering &... Door he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops text-align: center ; Hit road! Text-63 { a truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists animal.
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